I'm so nervous

So Sunday night I had my first school nightmare. It was about finals. I'm starting to freak out. The Spanish university system is so different: you don't do homework, take quizzes, write papers, or anything. Your whole grade is based off of one final exam which is usually just one to three essay questions. I have a lot of studying to do, especially since a lot of the material doesn't really stick since it's in another language, not to mention the fact that I don't catch everything covered in lecture. So I had a nightmare about exams. About not studying. And failing. Dude, I'm freaking out...I'm not used to doing work so I'm getting afraid that my motivation is just going to die out. I mean, I know that it won't, but my nightmare was about having absolutely no motivation to study, and then taking my finals completely unprepared. Yeesh. Well, anyways, I got up and went to Historia del Cine which was annoying because on Mondays we watch movies, but instead she lectured for a whole hour and a half about European cinema. Ugh. She also told us that the foreign students have the option to take the exam early on May 22. Now, I wasn't planning on it since our exam is June 7, but I considered it. I don't know if I'll be ready, though; but the option's there. Finals are coming up so quickly, it's freaking me out. I spent so much time in April just messing around it seems like this whole exam thing just came out of nowhere. Oy. After class I walked home for lunch. Stacey ended up not going to her class and just staying in bed because her stomach was really bothering her...she was sick with something. Lunch was really good, as always (I love eating lunch at home--always the best meals): a delicious seafood broth soup with rice (amazing) and her awesome seafood salad with real (not frozen) shrimp and crabmeat. Shellfish in Spain is top-notch, let me tell you. For dessert we got oranges again, yes! After lunch I did some more photo posting and then walked to tutoria for art history. I spent the entire tutoria bitching and complaining, basically, about exams and how nervous I was. He kept telling me not to worry and I kept desperately asking him how to study, what to expect, etc. etc. He assured me that we'd do practice exams and have extra sessions, and he gave me some papers summarizing the topics of my Iconografia class for me to read over the weekend. He then told me that in order to pass I really just needed to show a basic understanding of the material to demonstrate my attendance and comprehension. It's just so hard because I'm so used to being overly thorough in my art history classes in the States, and the fact that I can't be thorough here because I barely catch one detail really freaks me out. I just have to keep telling myself that I don't need an A, I just need a C. That's a new one for me: how do I study to get a C? How do I know if I'm studying the right thing since I don't even know if I'm hearing everything correctly in class? Ahhh!!! I felt badly for taking up his time just freaking out, but I don't know what else to do with myself. Ugh. Anyways, after tutoria I went online in the center and booked a bed and breakfast for my family here in Sevilla. I'm so excited for them to come up! I can't believe it'll be in a month. Holy crap. Then I went to Historia del Arte which was surprisingly interesting. We finished our gothic architecture unit and moved onto gothic painting and sculpture. This was good because I understood most of it because it overlaps with our crucifixion lesson in Iconografia which Bartolome (my tutor) and I had reviewed weeks earlier in tutoria. So I followed it really well, and it helped to solidify a lot of the material I had been learning already. Sweet. After class I asked the professor about setting up a date to take the exam early. He asked when was good for me, and I said anytime before the 14th of June, so he said to just speak with him the last day of class. Eh, okay. I then walked home, on the way stopping in Starbucks because I saw Katie in there studying. We talked for awhile, she invited me to Cadillace that night to meet her infamous senora, Blanca, who was coming out with her, Melissa, and their roommates for her roommate, Emily's, 21st. Cool cool. I then got home and went online to finish my webshots and work on blogging. I honestly have to get caught up with blogs and webshots before I can move onto studying...trust me, if I didn't it would drive me nuts. I talked to Maria del Mar about her date last Friday and she said that it went really well, she had a good time, and that they even went out again with some friends for a drink. She said that she liked him, but not liked liked him. We'll see how that one turns out. Stacey was not home, I assume that despite not feeling well she went somewhere to study because she wasn't going to eat at home...nor was Maria del Mar. So it was just Maruja and me; we had cabbage soup and only I had a grilled ham sandwich (Maruja had eaten a late, heavy snack with a friend and wasn't overly hungry). The sandwich was surprisingly good--she usually makes ham and cheese sandwiches but this time it was just ham. The ham that she had bought this time was the best she had ever served. Spanish ham is top notch, man. Without the cheese I could especially taste the quality of this particular cut of ham. Props, Maruja, props. We had a lovely conversation about fruit while I was eating my orange for dessert. She was asking me what fruits are typical in the U.S. I told her about oranges in Florida and California and cherries in Michigan and apples in Washington. Then we talked about our favorite fruits; Maruja likes oranges and I like mangos. Maruja doesn't like mangos too much. Such a shame. I love our deep conversations. After dinner I went back to the room to keep working on the webshots and the blog. Stacey eventually returned. She still wasn't feeling well and wasn't really keeping food down. By 11 she was lying in bed reading and trying to calm her stomach. At around 10:45 I got a call from Katie saying to meet them at Cadillac whenever cuz they were there and would be there for awhile. At around 11:30 I walked across the street and met up with Melissa, Katie, Emily, their other roommate Jen, a bunch of friends from their program, and Blanca. Blanca is really young, I guess she's about 38 but she looks about 30. She's very pretty, thin, and stylish. She was wearing some cute, very Spanish pink get-up. It's so weird to meet her because I had heard so many stories about her! She was mostly very quiet because it was just her in a bar with a bunch of drunk 20-somethings who didn't speak much Spanish. Emily and Jen's program, called A.P.I. involves classes all taught in English, so they're Spanish is pretty mediocre. And, since it was Emily's 21st, everyone was taking shots and getting wasted. Blanca just awkwardly sipped a Heineken and chain smoked and had random, short convos with us and her other host students. I ordered one drink: a vodka tonic, which turned out to be mostly vodka and not much tonic. I was drunk a quarter of the way through it. Katie ended up leaving at midnight, followed by Blanca at about 12:15. So it was just me, Melissa, and the A.P.I. kids. It was pretty awkward. Their program is just, well, different. They have more of a party mentality than our group, I'd say. Maybe it's because they're done in a week and a half. Or maybe because their classes are a joke. Who knows, but they all go out all the time, take body shots, and hook up with each other frequently. That just sounds like a prolonged Spring Break to me. Our program is just more, well, low-keyed. You may all think that it sounds like I go out a lot and drink a lot, but really, we're pretty tame compared to the other college kids who are here. Trust me. About half way through my vodka tonic my buzz began to wear off since I drank pretty slowly (it was so strong!). Melissa and I felt awkward the whole time because we weren't really friends with anyone there but Jen and Emily who were drunk and hanging out with their program friends. So we were just awkward outcasts. But it was funny. Then this guy from their program came over to me and introduced himself. His name is Ethan and he goes to Penn State and he's kind of a loser. Why do I attract all the losers? Why?? He was really awkward and tried to ask me out to go to some bar in los Remedios the next night. I told him that I was staying in the whole week. He asked for my number, I felt bad and gave it to him although I considered giving him a fake one. If he calls I'll probably just ignore it. He's kind of dense...he didn't know what the word "swanky" means. We just talked about football, and how Chicago's a fun place and how he's visiting Ann Arbor in August and we should hang out. Uhhh, yeah, sure. Whatever, I sound terrible, but welcome to the mind of a 21-year-old female, peeps. I've got standards, people, STANDARDS. Anyways at around 2pm all of them were drunkenly tumbling out of the bar to do a pub crawl on calle Betis (awwww like my 21st) so I said farewell and walked back upstairs to my piso. When I got back Stacey was in bed with the lights out, but still awake. Poor thing was not doing too well. I stayed up to finish my webshots and went to bed at about 3:15am. Yeah, it was late, but I had important things to do. I need to get caught up with these things so I can study! I'm so nervous.